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idk why i’m making a tumblr post about this,

I’m going to put this under the break, because it’s not really important and it’s super random and I don’t want to force people to read my random nostalgic feels about 10th grade spanish…

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Pearl’s message for Hero

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My Dad just walked in on my watching Ben’s first Q&A video from Nothing Much To Do while I was cooking. He assumed I was on Skype and jumped behind me waving his arms.

No. That’s youtube.

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Tagged: hp, haha, but really, .


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a letter from the end of the first week of hogwarts

  • albus severus: dear mum and dad
  • albus severus: i was in the library today
  • albus severus: reading a book about previous heads of hogwarts
  • albus severus: and i would just like to say
  • albus severus: are you fucking serious
  • albus severus: i demand a name change immediately
  • albus severus: just literally anything else please
  • albus severus: fucking dobby kreacher potter for all i care
  • albus severus: sorry for swearing i just
  • albus severus: bloody hell
  • albus severus: yours sincerely,
  • albus severus: aragog fang potter or some shit

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When Leaving is the Best Thing You Can Do: Thoughts on FitzSimmons


I briefly wrote about FitzSimmons in my episode analysis, but I want to dig a little deeper now and discuss the evolution of their relationship. And I want to first go on record by stating that I think her leaving was the best decision she could have made for both their sakes. 

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As much as Skye is becoming more like May this season, we can’t forget that she’s also becoming more like Ward. She may not want to sympathize with him or understand his point of view, but subconsciously, without even meaning to, she makes the same sort of choices that he has made and reacts in the way that he does. 

Ward followed Garrett to escape his painful past, and was transformed from a victim to a lethal soldier. Skye follows Coulson because she truly believes in his cause, and in the process of doing so, she sheds the skin of the woman she used to be, changing from a drifting hacker to a loyal agent.

They are both running from something when they meet the men who will change their lives. Ward is running from his abuse and his fear of weakness, towards a man who promises to make him strong. Skye is running from childhood neglect and the uncertainty surrounding her parents, towards a man who cares for her and promises answers.

Both Skye and Ward turn to order and structure because they believe that rigid rules will help them make sense of the chaos and turmoil in their pasts. And both Skye and Ward become physically strong and capable of defending themselves because they believe that physical strength will protect them from the emotional pain they’ve experienced before. 

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Episode Analysis: Agents of SHIELD, 2x01 “Shadows”


I have A LOT A LOT A LOT of thoughts about that premiere (short version: it was amazing), so apologies in advance for the length of this post. I’ll try to section it out as best as I can for easy reading and for my own mental organization. This is mostly a character analysis because, despite all the action, the character development was probably the most interesting part of the episode. Fair warning, I made myself cry about FitzSimmons with this meta.

The Skyeward-centric analysis is posted separately here.

Away we go. 

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Ward has a very specific way of talking about his physical injuries - namely, he doesn’t. 

In 1x02, Skye notices the blood on his shirt and realizes that he’s been injured. As someone who has never seen combat, she’s shocked to see not just his injury, but how little it phases him. And it really doesn’t phase him. Ward barely responds, giving a sort of nonchalant shrug. He’s not just acting macho, he truly doesn’t believe it’s a big deal. As a specialist, physical injury is part of his job and he accepts it as a necessity.

In 1x18, she sees his bloodied face and turns his head towards her so she can get a better look at his injuries. By this point, Skye has seen plenty of combat and she’s been in the field, but his physical pain is no easier for her to stomach. It’s not something she’ll ever get used to, even if he is used to it. And just like before, we see how he shrugs off her concern, saying that it’s nothing. There is blood streaked down the side of his face and still, he says it doesn’t bother him. Again, we see how he considers pain to be part of his job description, and this specific injury - his beating at the hands of Garrett for the sake of maintaining his cover - truly is part of his job.

But in 2x01, we see a change in both of them. Skye sees the scar on his arm and does a little double take. She’s careful not to let the surprise show on her face, but the way she turns away at the end is very telling. She has always been keenly observant when it comes to him being injured, and this time is no different. But what is different is that this time, she actually looks away. This is the first time she has been unable to face his injury. It’s not just because she’s angry at him for his betrayal. Seeing his scar makes her genuinely uncomfortable because she knows it’s self-inflicted. She may believe that she hates him, but she still can’t turn off her empathy, and it’s difficult for her to see how low he’s fallen. And for the first time, instead of hiding his injury or discounting it, Ward tells her the truth. For the first time, he acknowledges his injury and recognizes it. And more than that, he explains to her very plainly what he’s been through and how he got his scars.  It’s not an attempt at playing her or manipulating her - it’s a demonstration of his newfound resolve to be honest with her, no matter how it makes him look in her eyes. It doesn’t matter to him if the truth makes her pity him or see him as weak or hate him even more. When he promised to be honest, he meant it. And this is how he begins, by showing her the darkest, most vulnerable parts of himself. 

Ward’s indifference to physical pain throughout the course of season one showed us the inhuman side of him. It showed us a man who was tough as nails, a man made of steel and kevlar. It showed us a man who lived up to Skye’s many nicknames - robot, T-100, Tin-Man.

But now, we see a different side of him. We see his weaknesses and his vulnerabilities. We see how he is tormented by his demons. Now, we see that he’s only human. 

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Pedrazar frustrates me to no end because of how terrible the timing was. It was only months after filming had finished that Reuben wrote “An Ode” and sparked this fantastical ship we’ve all come to hold as dear to our hearts as Bean. But if it had been done early? Oh if it had been done earlier they could have had the world. They could have weaved in Balthazar’s crush, had the Ode have a subtle yet noticeable effect on Pedro as he’s working out his own feelings and struggling to make any kind of firm decisions because everything is happening so fast and he doesn’t want to lose his best friend but he’s not sure if he feels the same way and Hero is in hospital and everything’s just fucked. So he lashes out at Bea, doesn’t really take the time to consider whose side he really agrees with and just picks Claudio because it’s where ‘football and school rep’ Pedro is and that’s just easier right now than facing any other Pedro he could possible be.

And then on the afternoon after Bea yells at him how much of a fucking idiot he is and of course Hero’s not dead how the fuck did he ever get that idea, Balthazar comes over, and Pedro rubs his eyes because, he’d been trying to film another video, confirming Hero wasn’t dead, to put up on Ursula’s channel, and he just doesn’t have the strength to have this conversation right now, but Balthazar stops him in his tracks. Tells him that his feelings haven’t changed but he’d rather be there for Pedro, as his best friend, than to be selfish and “butthurt” because his best friend couldn’t supply the incredible sum of emotional intimacy he was practically demanding of him by putting that stupid video-

And Pedro kisses him. Because it’s just so very Balthazar to pour his heart out on floor and apologize to those who might have to step around it, and he loves that. He loves him. 

And then they remember the camera, turning it off immediately, but deciding, in the spirit of everything that’s happened, and in how it’s been shared with everyone, to put the video up anyway. It does say that Hero is alive, but more importantly, it’s the best explanation they could ever hope to come up with for why their holding hands at school on Monday morning, why they’re bumping shoulders whilst sitting at lunch and why they skip the possibility of a movie marathon after football practice to go back to Pedro’s place.

They pop up a few more times in the adventures of Beanerodio (deal with it), but they both seem different now. Balthazar’s a little louder, like he’s on a constant sugar buzz, but he’s never been a fan of sweet food. Pedro’s a lot more proactive, is the best word Bea can think of. He’s less “let what ever happens happen” and more “I’ve got a life to live, I should really start doing that.” They just seem, happier. Bea hates that she has nothing better than that. Hero doesn’t think there’s anything better than that.

But alas, time has made fools of us all, and we can only dream of and headcanon) a brighter Pedrazar future (and hopefully some other super cool bonus stuff).

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supremeruleroftheinternet replied to your post “random question for all my flamangos out there”

The Candle Wasters established that.

Was it in a post on their blog, or a video? Also thank you kind person.


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random question for all my flamangos out there

Has it been established in canon that Balthazar’s first name is Stanley and Balthazar is actually his middle name? Or did someone from the fandom just come up with that head canon and it spread? 


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And here is the third and final chapter! I had a ton of fun writing this, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. :)

(chapter 1)       (chapter 2)       (chapter 3)
tumblr   Ao3    tumblr   Ao3         Ao3

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